I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
