ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
