Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
