Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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