on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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