Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
