So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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