I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
