belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
