My sheets look like a crime scene.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am one with the molecules
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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