? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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