ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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