oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
