can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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