I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize