Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
