Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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