Pregnant stripper...not hot.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
