Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
