It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
