if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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