sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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