So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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