we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
tell me about the eggs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
