i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
