Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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