The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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