So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
