Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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