No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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