He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
