she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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