I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
