Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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