I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
