I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My vagina is officially offended.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
