i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She bit a glass in half.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
