mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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