then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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