my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
