Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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