The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
