i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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