so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
