At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
