But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
