Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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