White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
