the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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