You're so nebulous sometimes
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
